Lost; Where am I?

The triggeration of the clock striking at 1pm this afternoon hit me dramatically. my body was close to the definition of an old hagged of a mechanism system. it was as if i was compressed by a sudden tension of a deliberate triggering by the God of Nightmare; and i was awake, i stared at my plain white plasterboard ceiling; i was still lost.

Lost in the world of my own imagination. Lying on my apparently comfy bed with pillows surrounding me giving me the comfort of security and warmth with my heater on; hugging my comforter and blanket tightly for a sense of reality; yes, trying to figure out what the hell is going on; the nightmare was still playing in my mind; i was still lost.

It was there and then, it took me by a bemused surprised that I slept since 5pm the day before till today 1pm. Working it out with a simplicity of a lil maths: Gosh! 20 fucking-long hours of sleep without even heading to the toilet for a sneak-pee session (as far as i could remember); i was still lost.

Lost; Am I not?

No I'm not lost. The level of my mind in a clear state ensured that I was still safe in Melbourne, unfortunately. ahh! it was a friday! and it was going to be a good day as the girls and I have plan on heading VII for night out *clubbing as we have finished our semester ONE with a good finale of a successful presentation for our final Design Studio class! wah lah~!

No I'm not lost. As far as I remembered for not sleeping two days in a row in conjuction of my preparation for my final presentation, my tension-breaking model was a success! I had a good presentation with a good feedbacks by Dr.Michael, Matt, Ben Stibberd and Peter Knight (my lovely-fashionably-dressed tutor-whom-i-have-a-huge-crush-on) hehe! it hit me right after the presentation, I was exhausted. I slept for 20hours after that. wth.

No I'm not lost. what should i wear?  what colour my nail polish should be? all this was needed for a good preparation for a nice clubbing session again! ahh~! mr.loo yew hann called me at that very moment; it was for a really innocent question but it took me to another level of astonishment ! i just realised it was only a Thursday!

Lost; I am.

 Yes, I am lost.

What the hell right? i had lost track of time due to my 20 hours of oh-so-heavenly sleep with a touch of nightmare! i cannot deny the sad prominence of the emphasis on the stupidiy of my brain function was obviously devastating!

In conclusion, welcome to the World of Architecture.

no more harry potters, twilights, three kingdoms, amy tan's, gossip girls and so on! these architecture theories, analysis', autobiography and histories books are my new favourites! the library is my main direct source to these great books! ah~!

 _____________________________________________

It is to a vehemence that I had to stress upon was that yes, photos from facebook showed how i lead an eventful life in melbourne, but i guess i am a pretty good juggler in time? or maybe, i am just another procrastinator? sighs.

this post was updated on the 10th of June. but posted up on the 11 of June due to some unforeseen circumstances that I had to endure.

Gosh. Winter is storming into Melbourne soon. it is time for melbourne peeps to bring out their uber-hawt black trench coats, shiny-silk leather jackets, giant-cottoncandy water-proof sweaters and so on! As for me, my burberry trench coat and lame-O zara black trench coat are finally coming out from it's poor dusty closet. more to come? hehh.

its been awhile. oh; why?

My story to tell.

the scan-through of my blog posts moments ago brought me to the conclusion that the immensity state of my maturity level was a disappointment. i cannot express and stress beyond this insignificant emphasis that maybe i have change; or did i, decide to change?

this lead to such a suspense; did you make me change?

it is to my despair that i have to admit that i have not update my blog for quite awhile due to recent stressful work and depressing course that i have got to endure for the next 5 years of my life. yes, it is the road i have decide to choose on the very little day on a very aspiring moment :- i could hold the pencil and draw the first line on the paper using a 2B pencil. it was destined that i would be an architect. (fuck my life. sounded so ironically exagerated)

maybe and yes, maybe; this is the destiny that i desire.

despite all the endless work, sleepless nights and un-fondless days, everything's good so far. i am still enjoying being a 19 in this last year of our adolescence period of being a teenage. heh. freedom to anything beyond our imagination in the land down under brings us to everywhere! question to myself daily:- is this what we want?

i shall admit this with a sigh; i do miss papa and mummy.

yes, without a doubt that i am feeling stressful at this very minute of my life. even the xanga's change in its' new blogging format is not doing justice to my life now! my final project in my "Design Studio" class is giving me a migraine due to much emotions interpretation required in my design. arghhh. i feel like shouting. express all my inner emotions out before i explode like a volcano or burst out like a bloody tsunami; but i might kill thousands.

who am i to blame? myself.

i am at the verge of exploding now. mr-im-so-cool-xanga decided to go under maintance for it's "uploading photo section". consequently, i can only choose from my old photos. gosh. fuck it. if xanga's going to keep on changing it's format here and there, a-5-year-member like me is going to stop blogging in xanga.com.

and yes; i am serious. i think.

i wish i could express my feelings through music, like i used to.

One year passed rapidly with a blink of an eye.
I managed to finish the Foundation Studies in Art, Design and Architecture course in RMIT uni.
Yes. to some, it may not be as "tough" as A-levels, ADP, form6 or whatsoever.
No. to some, it may be tough cause you cant draw/design for nuts.

Taking up this course was definitely challenging and was definitely NOT a bed of roses.
it's a complete change from what we were learning for the past few years of our education life.
No more just plain studying.
No more just memorising craps.
No more just calculating figures.
No more just writing equations.

It is all about innovation, imagination, creativity and commitment in this course.
If you've got the passion for architecture and design,
yea, you'll make it through.
If you're just doing this course for the sake of reputation or parents' choice,
nope, you'll have a tough time.
(pathetically, I've got to admit that I'm neither both. sigh.)

Frankly speaking and i do hope that no one take this personally,
Everyone can count, everyone can write, everyone can study!
(i know i can't. cause im practically brainless and stupid)
Definition of Stupid = Emmelyn Chua Pei Min.
But can everyone design and draw something spectacular?
as in technically design something no one has ever seen before?
and not just draw something out of a book or something you've captured visually?
There is quite a BIG difference on that, just so you know.

I have had enough of people insulting me for the passed few years. sigh.
cause i was not that good academically.
cause i barely understood what was the teachers talking about the law of physics.
or newtons' whatever-nonsensical-laws.
or boyle's whatever-liquidity-law.
the list goes on and on.
but that is NOT the end of the world if you're not academically smart.


with the blessing of God,
with the support of my family and friends,
with the guidance of my beloved lecturers,
I managed to get all high distinction and some distinctions throughout this course.
It was definitely an achievement to me as i do not remember getting such grades back in sec school.

I did not know how was my standard in this course.
I did not know where i stood in this whole course as well.
I was not that competitive to compare myself with others.
as to me, I compete with myself as there's no boundaries within oneself.
Who cares if you draw like Pablo Picasso?
Who cares if you think like Frank O' Gehry?
Who cares if you count like Albert Einstein?
You'll die faster comparing with others.


But things were answered when all foundation studies students
were invited to attend the annual graduation lunch in Crown Hotel on the 28th of November 2009.
Students coming from foundation studies in Architecture, Business, Media, Engineering and Science.
(February, June and July in-take).
So basically the whole big and quite posh restaurant was booked just for us. teehehehee.

The food was edible.
The drinks were bearable.
The entertainment was laughable.
I was practically dozing off.

but suddenly, it was the award presentation moment!
and as i was listening to the lady speaking on stage,
i heard

"This year, top in foundation studies in Architecture February Intake, PEI MIN CHUA"
Congratulations!

It means i got like first in the whole foundation?
The only ONE from February Foundation in Architecture?
How was it possible?

zomfg.

I literally went speechless.
I practically was astonished.
My jaw dropped for real.

Everyone looked at me.
Everyone glared at me.
Everyone stared at me.
just kidding. not that hyperbole.
But i was definitely stunned.
I did not know there was such an award.
I went up to receive my award.
and the best part was i was awarded an  Academic Scholarship!
they were offering me the scholarship for next year!
Basically, I'm getting back 50% of my this whole year's fees!
It's a lot. i mean it's quite a big sum.

It was my most embarrassing moment.
as I was under-dressed.
as I was not prepared.
as I was not told about this.
apparently they email-ed me in advance notifying me.
But yea, once again, i did not check my mail. LOL.
hence, the embarrassment - practically almost fell in front of everyone.

Just so you know,
February in-take's foundation in architecture consisted of the most students
in comparison with other foundations and other intakes.
thus, i did feel honoured and a slight-bit of happiness in me.

albeit the fact that i do party and club in melbourne,
i do not deny as i do need to relax at times after pressuring myself to the maximum.
but there is no wrong in clubbing! drinking! dancing!
as the saying goes,"partyhard, but studyhard."
as long as my results and grades are pretty decent,
my parents do allow me to go clubbing. (not that i'm hiding this fact from them)
they know everything.
they understand everything.

dedicating this :

TO those who thinks I'm practically brainless and stupid,
which is inevitably right, ( i know i am. sigh)
why not try being in my shoes and attending this course?
so please do not judge me so soon.

TO those who thinks I'm only some rich-but-useless spoilt brat,
which is obviously undeniably correct, (i know i am. sigh)
getting all the High Distinctions and a few Distinctions are making my parents proud d.
getting the scholarship is definitely the Cherry on top of the Cake.
and not to mention, lightening my parents' burden financially.

TO those who thinks I only party and club in Melbourne,
which is evidently right too, (i know i do. sigh)
yea. people do change when they come to melb.
the lifestyle here is totally different compared to KL cause
there's no parental control or whatsoever.
at least I still did achieve pretty good grades despite all the clubbings and all.
i guess i managed to balance my time systematically? bullshit.

maybe it's because I've got the passion. (i think)
maybe it's because I've got the talent. (i do no think so)
maybe it's because Im hardworking. (impossible)
I think it's partially because i wanted to prove to everyone wrong!

I might not be accepting the RMIT's scholarship.
I might not be going to RMIT uni.
I might not be staying in Melbourne.

Sigh.

There are possibilities that I might have other plans on my future education.
I will definitely take this summer holiday as an opportunity to think about my future wisely.
Time will tell.

_________________________________________________________________

anyways, students from the whole year's foundation studies in Architecture
were given the opportunity to display their pride and joy in an Art Exhibition organised for us.
obviously NOT all students could display their work as the places were limited.
lecturers scanned through and chose the best of the best (yea right.)

I was fortunate enough as quite a number of my work was chosen.
from Model Making,
to Bridge Design,
to Gallery Pavillion Design,
to Surrealist Art Sculptures,
to Mundane Object Sculpture,
to Lighting Lamp Design,
to Marker Rendering Drawing,
to Fashion Design,
to Logo Design
and so on,
These are the work that were lucky enough to be chosen.

Me and my sculptures.

some of them.

Sculpture's Title : "Pierce Through My Heart"
Based on the film : "Un Chien Andalou"

p.s Yes. i do name my work. (=

Sculpture's Title : "The Rubber Target"
Mundane Object : Rubberband

Sculpture's Title  : "The Human without a Heart"
Based on the surrealism : "Girl born without a mother"

Gallery Pavilion's Name : "The Machinery Pavilion"
Based on the surrealism : "Girl born without a mother"

This was my final assignment project for "Space Design" subject.

everything was handmade/handpainted.

Title : "The Boomerang Bridge"
Inspiration : Boomerang

Australia + Aboriginal People = Boomerang

 
I was amazed that the bridge could stand for so long.
God blessed the Balsa Wood and thread.

 
Logo Design Assignment for "Design Communication".

 
Sway Music Company (my imaginary client)

 
Marker Rendering assignment for "Production Skills" Subject.
(my worst subject cause i can't draw like Pablo Picasso)

 
everything was drawn/coloured using marker copiic pens.
apparently it was a practice for fashion designers and interior designers.

p.s My sister thought i cut these pictures out of the magazines.
But i really did colour them using marker (copiic) pens.

 
Style "Fashion" assignment for "Design Communication" subject

 
i do believe that i've got a lil talent in fashion.
but nahhh. my fashion style was more "futuristic".

 
They had this "everywhere" in the art exhibition.
just kiddingggggg! honestly.
im not that perasan!
im not that good!
im not that show off!

im just fortunate, i guess. sigh.
Pei Min is the LUCKIEST girl! i wish.

i know my work's not that perfect.
i know my work's not up to standard.
i know my work's not magnificent.
but this is only foundation level.
ain't NO first or second year of architecture okay?
this is just the beginning.

cheers!

_______________________________________________________________________

I would like to take this opportunity to show my sincere gratitude and appreciation to a few people.
My parents. My lecturers. My family. My friends. and so on.
You know who you are!
Thank you so much!

 
Diana Rosica - Principles and Element's Lecturer

 
Carolyn Sanford - Design Communication's lecturer

 
Some of my dearest classmates!

 
omg. Vicky looks kinda scary!

_________________________________________________________________________

and then again, I had fun with Priscilla and my sister, Sherrine!
despite all the loads of work and assignments at that time!

I love you, Priscilla Neow!
I love you, Sherrine Chua!

Off to pack my luggage!
I see you guys back in KL soon!

31st. August. 2009.
One of the most auspicious day in Malaysia.
basically, its our annual national day
also recognisably known as Hari Merdeka.
Without a doubt, the Melbourne/Malaysian peeps would definitely
seize the opportunity to organise all sorts of "Merdeka Eve" event.
(just for the sake of publicity, financial gains, drinking and PARTYY again)

One of the biggest event that was held in Melbourne was the one located at CQ.
Albeit it was a sunday night and everyone had lectures on monday.
everyone of anyone from anywhere still attended that event!
(not just malaysians, others from other countries invaded that event as well.)

frankly speaking, it was just like another clubbing night.
but the best part was that we got to sing "Negaraku".  twice.
Malaysia's time and Melbourne's time. yay.
it's been awhile since i last sang THE - Negaraku.
singing THE song almost got me to tears. sigh. memories.
(remember we had to sing THE song every monday since kindergarten?)
from a weekly basis, we deteriorated to a yearly basis.
how pathetically sad is that? singing THE song annually.

The event ended when we decided to leave.
I remembered heading home and continued with my assignment.
Writing a oh-so-bloody-long review on an Art Gallery.
It was a piece of cake. I managed to finish it anyways.

ME. Vivian. Drea.
how sweet of these two girls to show their patriotic spirit by dressing up in red?

Us. Malaysians.

Just dance? say Cheese!

Me. Drea. June.

ahh.

______________________________________________________________________________

On the other hand,
uni is alright.
im doing OKAY.
results are OKAY.
Classes are OKAY.
this is what I wanted right? no? yes.


I wish i have more time.
so i don't have to face those sleepless nights.
sleeping at 7 in the morning is really exhausting.
Definition of Fatigue - Art and Design.
Definition of Lethagic - Architecture.
Definition of Slacking - ME. (i hope not. im trying not to be)

This course is really intensive.
cause they are trying to drill us mentally, physically and emotionally.
teaching us everything they can so we'll be prepared for First Year architecture.
it is to the extent that my DAD is amazed. himself.
only he thinks this course is good.
He just does not understand the fact that his poor daughter is practically dying.

sigh

anyways, more photos to be uploaded.
recent presentation - Design Communication (Group work)
we had to present a Tribal Research work and an A2 design board.
my group which consisted of Jessica Franto and Andrea Ng,
(Randomly placed together by our lecturer.)
decided to focus on America's Red Indians.

In order to push ourselves to the limit as well as impressing the others,
we decided to dress up according to our theme - Red Indians.
I guess we did fairly well on the A2 design board, research and presentation.

Vivian the Tibet-ian.
Andrea the Red Indian mummy.
ME the Red Indian daughter.

p.s Not that i wanted to be the daughter.
It was the hair tradition from the red indians.

Check out my Facepainting.
According to my research, the symbol is called the Zia.
It's also known as the Sun which symbolizes Four Directions.

Okay. I cracked a joke during my presentation unintentionally;
hence, the ridiculously wide smile on my face.

aww.

_____________________________________________________________________________

As you all know, (not that i told everyone personally)
ive shifted into my new apartment.
Yes! finally. i hated my old apartment due to some personal reasons.

my dad bought me an apartment which is located near my classes.
my classes are scattered around the city depending on the subjects and buildings.
but most of em' are located near my apartment. yay!

he didnt buy for me because i asked him.
we decided it was for the best. financially and productively.
cause architecture course is approximately 5 - 6 years. 
WITHOUT paying rent, would inevitably reduce my cost of living here.
cheers!

THANK YOU to those who helped me moved into my new place.
THANK YOU to those who helped me decorated my place as well.
you know who you are! especially the ones who drove!
more photos.

bathroom's polka dot tiles, lamp and curvilinear mirror.
i love polka dots.

red carpet.

yessss! finally! i get a queen size bed with lots of pillow!
p.s At least i dont fall of the bed now.

 
small but comfortable.
it's not some big apartment. it's super small.
p.s At least ive got a television?

my BROTHER. sigh.
he gave me the Samsung Monitor screen randomly.
he loves me? no?
now i've got Duo Screens.

____________________________________________________________________________

well well well.
time passes with a blink of an eye.
time for me to work on myyyyy
Sculpture Design for Space Design.
Bridge Model Design for Principles and Elements.

Stresss! 

I miss you! YOU!
you know who you are!

it's her. Happy!

She shaved her hair bald before I left for Melbourne after the winter hols.
BALD. but cute.

me. signing out now!

it has been ages since i last posted something productive in my blog. sigh.
my life in melbourne has been the most outrageous rollercoaster ride
as everything was so new and fresh to me in here.
i've experienced many things for the first time in here as well.
things that were memorable.
things that were exciting.
things that kept me thinking.
things that i regretted.
things that i learnt.
things that i appreciated.
things that i wished never happened. ever.

albeit i wished i could make things right again,
but i cant turn back the time.
what's done is done.
there is nothing i could do about it anymore.
waking up everyday. facing reality. real life. cold weather. melbourne.

Emmelyn Chua Pei Min. face it. bring it on. LIFE.

despite the fact that ive been facing lots of emotional and depressed problems,
but overall, things are not as bad as it seems.
i tripped. many times.
i fell. many times.

"learning to ignore things is one of the greatest paths to inner peace"

i learnt from there.
i learnt to ignore.
i learnt to hide my feelings.
i learnt to contemplate wisely.
i learnt to talk appropriately.

anyways, my classes are so far pretty productive.
i do enjoy my classes from semester 1 to 2.
as this has always been my dream (doing architecture)
nothing can stop me from doing this
*well, i did contemplate whether this was the right choice for me many many uncountable times. sigh*

many people have left this course. unfortunately.
approximately almost half my class' students left.
it was either they thought that this wasnt the right course for them.
or it was either they were asked to leave as they've been failing.
or it was either they had financial problems.
or it was either they had "visa" problems.
or what-so-ever-thousand-and-one-reasons.

my class is so pathetically sad now.
its way emptier compared to semester 1.
sigh. i guess it will be even more competitive as the good ones are left behind.
(not me. but the rest are exceptionally talented. good. creative. dedicated.)

once again. BRING IT ON. its all or nothing.

i wished winter break was longer.
two weeks of holidays were definitely not enough. for me.
i had so much to do. but so little time.
i didnt eat chicken rice.
i didnt eat lamian (siu long pao)
i didnt eat waffle
i didnt eat prawn mee
i didnt eat curry laksa
i didnt eat assam laksa
sigh. many more.

but i had a good holiday though.
shopping. sleeping. reading. rotting like a piece of cheese. (as ive planned)
everything was pretty relaxing.
i cant wait for the next holiday!! yayy. :)


photos!!!!
random photos from recent events.


during my birthday.
Mel Lo.

Vivian. Drea. Me. Nel (with his mouth open. for no particular reason)

Mel. Hann. Me.

At CiliPadi for supper at almost 4am. (after my birthday)

vivian johnny ting.

crown casino's toilet. (right before i went back to KL for winter break)

Mel trying to do the-nelson-signature-blur-show-off-bitchy-face

Vivian's 18th.

Happy birthday, Vivian.
she's been a great friend despite knowing her for only 6months. =)

we did our hair.
making full used of the facilitier provided in the changing room in the sport complex.
Mel was playing squash at that time. while we *ahem* keeping ourselves busy.

Andrea Ng. yayyy.
we were in the toilet (sounds so inappropriate) ladies room. basically.

off to bed.
going to queenvic market to do some grocery-veg-fruits-hunting tomorrow.
woohoo~ sigh.

p.s:// ive updated this blog. i feel that ive achieved something. finally.
        do you not feel proud of me?